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07 September 2009 @ 09:28 pm
5 Times Keito Amazed 7 by his Pickup Lines  
Title: 5 Times Keito Amazed 7 by his Pickup Lines
Pairing: Keito x various members in JUMP, hints of other pairings
Genre: Comedy/Crack
Rating: G
Warnings: Yeah, you know I fail at crack. Also, beware of incessant vomiting and brain-melting circumstances due to pickup lines in this fic. xD Or you can just laugh it off to make your life easier.
Summary: Keito is either a smooth talker or a cheesy pickup liner...Either way, it's a new side of Keito.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not yet.
Notes: Written for HS7-thon. I haven't done a fic in ages. >___<; I wrote this fic a long time ago, when I was suddenly surrounded by pickup lines from text messages and practically everywhere. xD This is my second prompt about Keito, and I don't even know if HS7 would be swept off by these pickup lines, but hey, Yamada's "saru?-inu?-neko?-ore?" pickup line already had a big impact right? xD Anyway, I hope you like it.

"Alright! For this week's lesson, I will teach you the art of seduction...through words." Keito said smoothly as he whacked the stick he was holding on the table. He straightened up like he was doing a Hyakushiki segment.

"Oooh..." The rest of 7 murmured.

"For example..." Keito declared as he looked at the doorway. Something (or someone) caused a distraction. All of 7 turned to see Inoo, who tripped on the doormat from being too engrossed in his Physics book. Keito ran to Inoo to help the older boy up.

"Inoo-kun, you are very studious, aren't you?" Keito asked as he propped his glasses up. "Does that also mean you have a wide vocabulary?"

Inoo blinked. "I...uh, I'll try?"

"Define love!" Keito commanded in a stern voice. The rest of 7 moved closer to watch and listen eagerly.

"Love is..." Inoo bit his lip. "It's a really broad thing to define."

"Having trouble are you?" Keito smirked. "Maybe I can teach you what it means." Keito whispered sweetly as slid his arm around Inoo and smiled. Inoo blushed and ran away.

"That's example number one." Keito turned to 7 and winked.


"The alphabet is a useful tool for words too. For example..." Keito said and sat next to Yuto.

"Yuto-kun, if you were to create the alphabet, what would you do?"

Yuto paused and tried his best to think about the right answer. "I'll create it, however I want?"

"I see...ask me, how I would create it, Yuto-kun."

"Alright then, how would you create the alphabet, Keito-kun?"

"I would put 'U' and 'I' together." Keito whispered in a honeyed voice making Yuto red.

The other members stared in awe.

"Works every time." Keito grinned.

"You can express your liking by being playful as well. Like this..." Keito approached Chinen. "Chinen, let's play hide and seek."

"OK! I hide, you seek!" Chinen happily bounced as he stood up.

"I can't do that."

"Why not?" Chinen's happy disposition turned into a confused one.

"Because someone like you is impossible to find." Keito smiled softly as Chinen couldn't help but fall backwards on his seat and melt.

Keito chuckled. "See what I mean?"

Ryutaro came rushing into 7's little conference room with hair disheveled, clothes in a mess...and shoe laces untied.

"You're late, Ryutaro-kun." Keito said firmly.

"I'm so sorry, I--"

"And look, your shoe laces are untied. Here, let me tie them for you..."

"Ah, no, it's alright Keito-kun, I can---"

"So you won't fall for anyone else." Keito looked up and smiled.

Ryutaro fell silent and found himself lost for words.

"That's the first example for today." Keito said as he stood up and ran his hand through his hair, walking over to his seat as if he had just said the most normal thing in the world.

Yuto, Chinen, Yamada, and of course Ryutaro, all hung their mouths agape.

"We're down to our final lesson today." Keito said and the other 4 members of 7 murmured an 'awww' as disappointment. "Don't worry, I'm sure you might've thought that the previous lessons we're a bit...sappy. Let's sweeten things up, shall we?"

7 nodded. Keito then pulled twelve red roses out of nowhere and sat in front of a 7...which happened to be Yamada.

"If you think gifts aren't enough," Keito then handed the roses to Yamada, who reluctantly accepted them with an obvious flinch in expression.

"Thanks, Keito-kun, but I'm not a girl." Yamada murmured and Keito smirked.

"Sweep them off by backing up gifts, with words."

Yamada shifted his head to the side as he raised a brow.

"Yamada-kun, did you know that if you look in front of a mirror, you would see the thirteen most beautiful things in the world?" Keito's voice sounded sultry and velvety in an instant.

Yamada's heart fell and raced back to beat wildly against his chest. He instantly turned as red as the roses he was holding. Yuto's jaw dropped. Ryutaro was wide-eyed. Chinen sighed and turned to Ryutaro.

"Why can't you sweep me off my feet like that, Ryu-chan?"

"Keito-kun is on a different level, Chii. Besides, you are to be swept off your feet if and only if it was Ohno-san."

Chinen raised a finger and opened his mouth to protest but backed down and shrugged in agreement. Ryutaro rolled his eyes.
Wandering: Tokyo Dome
Feeling: coldcold
Hearing: Asia no Yoru - Yamada Ryosuke
Desire Joycekore_dake on September 7th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
HAHAHHAHHH!!!!! it was cute.. i love Keito's dominant persona here. LOLOL so much to say.. but i'm trying be first KIDDING!! well done!!!
Em: Clapclapshadowsofcherry on September 7th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)
Haha! I'm glad you think so!

And yes, you are first! Well done too! xD Thank you very much! :D
Desire Joycekore_dake on September 7th, 2009 03:30 pm (UTC)
oh.. i forgot to mention. it's great to have you back. :D
a lot of authors went MIA for a while now.
Em: Clapclapshadowsofcherry on September 7th, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I see a lot did become MIA. It's great to be back too! :D
keeconkkeeconk on September 7th, 2009 03:44 pm (UTC)
huahahahahahahahaa!! that was cutely funny!! love keito~..
Emshadowsofcherry on September 7th, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you think so! Thank you! :D
taiga_luisetaiga_luise on September 7th, 2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
That was so kewl!!
I love Keitos lessons!
Em: Yamada_wink!shadowsofcherry on September 8th, 2009 04:56 am (UTC)
It is? Haha! Keito can pass as a teacher of Pickup lines, yes?

Thanks for reading! :D
Your War Goddessai_star on September 7th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
hahahha.../this is the most cheesy pick up lines...hahaa....but seriously, I will fall for it too..hahaha
Emshadowsofcherry on September 8th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
LOL, yes they are, but I think I would fall for the last one too. Haha!

Thanks for reading! :D
Emmieemmachase on September 8th, 2009 04:27 am (UTC)
Hahah cuuute! Keito can totally pull those off XD
Em: Yama_dog<3shadowsofcherry on September 8th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
Yes, I think so too! Haha! Thanks for reading! :D
here comes the sun ☀wooden_buttons on September 8th, 2009 01:30 pm (UTC)
KEITO IS AMAZING. *__________* Ilovehim &hearts! This fic is also amazing, eeee.

Em: Clapclapshadowsofcherry on September 8th, 2009 02:01 pm (UTC)
Yes, he is! :D Thank you! *squishes*
here comes the sun ☀wooden_buttons on September 8th, 2009 02:06 pm (UTC)
Em: Clapclapshadowsofcherry on September 8th, 2009 02:11 pm (UTC)
Shy_Mizunoshy_mizuno on September 9th, 2009 01:23 am (UTC)
OH GOD! THESE ARE SO CHEEZY! I just can't stand them!
Em: Yamada_deadshadowsofcherry on September 9th, 2009 02:28 am (UTC)
LOL! Don't say there was no warning...xD
Shy_Mizunoshy_mizuno on September 9th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
I just noticed your icon. It kind of looks like Yamada is looking up and saying 'Strawberry?'

Sorry, totally off topic.
Em: Yamada_?shadowsofcherry on September 9th, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)
Which icon? The one where he's hugging a dog with the hearts?

LOL, it's OK.
Shy_Mizunoshy_mizuno on September 9th, 2009 03:02 am (UTC)
No. 'Dead' icon.
Em: Yamada_deadshadowsofcherry on September 9th, 2009 03:10 am (UTC)
Oh, I see. xD
shieLdembLem: Keito HOTshieldemblem on September 10th, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC)

it's not only HS7 that was swept off their feet by Keito, ME TOO!!!

I can just imagine, Keito saying those kinds of pick-up lines... *drools*
Em: Yama_dogshadowsofcherry on September 10th, 2009 02:04 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Well, I'm sure Keito can really pull it off!

Thanks for reading! :D
海野波rae_yna on September 11th, 2009 09:04 am (UTC)
uhhhhhhh~ *controlling laughter*

aww~ it is so cute~ keito's new side~ wow~ lost of words~

i wonder how i will react on those if he ever say that in front of me~ hee hee *akeitofangirlishere*

nice work~

hee hee~

Emshadowsofcherry on September 11th, 2009 09:28 am (UTC)
LOL! Try not to flail if ever he would say those to you. xD

Thanks for reading!
海野波rae_yna on September 11th, 2009 09:32 am (UTC)
i will try my best~ hee hee~ but if it's too much i might eat hm alive~

anytime~ looking for your other fictions as well~ hee hee~
CandyApples are ♥: KeitoPiccandyapplegirls on September 11th, 2009 12:19 pm (UTC)

Keito the modern Romeo. *imagines and starts melting* TOO HOT! XD

What if they did those to the BEST members?
Emshadowsofcherry on September 12th, 2009 09:53 am (UTC)

Haha! Keito as the modern Romeo? That could work! ;))

Then the BEST members would flail like the girls they are. xDDD

Thanks for reading! :D
suteiisuteii on September 12th, 2009 05:08 am (UTC)
DAMN!!! Keito knows his stuff! Very cheesy stuff, but he still knows it. LOL

Sorry for Commenting so late.
Emshadowsofcherry on September 12th, 2009 09:53 am (UTC)
LOL, he does know what he's talking about.

It's OK, late comments are still love! ♥

Thanks for reading! :D
raichii: Chinen (ST)raichii on September 19th, 2009 06:43 am (UTC)
sorry for commenting so late... I've been busyyy lately.

I'm so amazed by Keito's pickup lines!! haha... This was cute! Good job!
Em: Yama_dog<3shadowsofcherry on September 19th, 2009 12:41 pm (UTC)
LOL, it's OK! Late comments are still love! :D

Haha, Keito can definitely pull those off! Thank you and thanks for reading! :D
maplarojcanmaplarojcan on September 26th, 2009 05:04 am (UTC)
sorry for the late reply? :) hehehe.

oh my lolol! :) hahahahahahahahaha. :)

this is soooo cute. :) i mean... it reminds me of all those text messages i received, but STILL, being in this context. hehe. :) it's... uhm... kakatuwa?
Em: Clapclapshadowsofcherry on September 27th, 2009 03:09 am (UTC)
Haha! It's OK! Late comments are still love!

I'm glad your brain didn't melt...I hope not! XD

LOL, that's also one of the reasons why I wrote this fic! I'm glad you find it kakatuwa!

Thanks for reading and commenting! :D

NakajimA: keito_eatingaliciaswr on October 11th, 2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
Keito is awesome!

And the last part.. LOL!
Emshadowsofcherry on October 12th, 2009 08:38 am (UTC)
Haha! I agree! Keito is definitely awesome!

Thanks for reading! :D
Miyuki_chanlonelylilger on October 12th, 2009 08:04 am (UTC)
OMG. This is so sweet. *swoons*

If guys in Singapore had these pick-up lines, i swear women here would go GAGA. xD

Good job.
Emshadowsofcherry on October 12th, 2009 08:39 am (UTC)

I wish guys everywhere would learn how to talk like this, and do it in a sweet and non-cheesy way...but that seems impossible, right? LOL!

Thank you and thanks for reading! :D